Daisy-Do-Do

But I bet it’s even colder in Buffalo where they got 2 feet of snow yesterday. Ick! The NYS Thruway was shut down and people were stuck there overnight. Now THAT’S scary! I hope it warms up before Halloween! There’s nothing worse than having to trick or treat with a winter coat on. Poor kids.

Since I’m staying inside, I need to find some fun stuff on TV. I’ll share it with you because I’m just that nice.

Today/Tonight

Dead Men Walking: Inmates and guards try to survive while zombies run amok inside a maximum-security prison. 7 PM on SciFi 

 

Haunted Honeymoon: A radio actor brings his bride to his family estate, where his aunt claims there’s a werewolf. 8 PM on CW 

 

Final Days of Planet Earth: Two people must find a man who holds the key to defeating a race of insectlike aliens that pose as humans. 8 PM on Hallmark

 

House of 1000 Corpses: Two couples become prisoners of a psychopathic family. 8 PM on IFC (New scary movie each Saturday at 8 )

 

Star Trek: The Next Generation: After her grandmother’s death, Beverly falls under the spell of a ghost lover. 9 PM on G4

 

Hocus Pocus: Halloween trick-or-treaters come face to face with three witch sisters from the past in Salem, Mass. 9 PM on Disney

 

Haunted Prison: Vengeful ghosts terrorize a gang of thieves and a documentary film crew at an abandoned penitentiary. 9 PM on SciFi

 

May: Unable to make friends, a young woman goes on a killing spree and assembles body parts to construct a companion. 9:30 on IFC

Leeches: Mutated leeches terrorize a college campus after feeding on blood tainted by steroids. 10:30 on HERETV

 

Visit Gothtober for a surreal buzzy funtime!

 

 

On Oct 1, I mentioned Halloween Peeps – briefly.

It has now come to my attention that there are even more Halloween Peeps than I had imagined! Besides the traditional pumpkins and ghosts:

• - There are Spooky Cats, which used to come in orange but are now black or purple depending on the batch. The original Spooky Cats were orange and looked like owls.
• - There are Cocoa Cats, which are brown, and most likely chocolate flavored.
• - There are or were (unclear at this time) Cocoa Bats, same as cats.
• - There were Spooky Peep chicks in a crazy orange color, but rumor has it they were a limited edition thing only.
• - There is also a Pumpkin Peep Decorating Kit that uses yummy gel frosting.

Besides looking at or eating these excellent Halloween Peeps, you can also pit them against each other in a jousting arena that crosses the flaming pits of hell (toaster oven) with a fight club type setup. (First rule of Peep Fighting: Never talk about Peep Fighting.)

Short version: 7 rounds pitting ghosts against spooky cats (owls) with jousting toothpicks. The results aren’t pretty – but the action is unbelievably tense. Look for bonus movies featuring firey deaths and a crazy lunge in the ghost vs. ghost match.

Not for the faint of heart! The peep-on-peep match ends in death – every time. Luckily there are tiny foil coffins to lay the peeps to rest.

Visit Gothtober today to learn how to make a Goblin Eye Cake. Yum! And if you aren’t hooked on the Gothtober music by now, I don’t want to talk to you. I heart it!

Why an extreme pumpkin, of course!

Chaz pointed me to this site of fantastic pumpkiny goodness. (Thanks Chaz!) Now I am obsessed, of course.

I think it’s probably too early to carve pumpkins if you want them to stay good through Halloween, but if you have the time and you don’t mind making more later on, it’s time to get started already! If it turns out good – you can send a photo in for the contest.

And don’t go thinking that these are the in-your-face extreme pumpkins — there’s not a skateboard to be found. These pumpkins are the extreme kind where “extreme” means “really cool!” Yes, some fire is involved, but that’s totally optional.

ExtremePumpkins.com also offers some practical advice — the best tools to use, the best way to set it on fire, where to pick up road flares, and so on. Also, some really neat patterns are available – including the lovely lady you see here. (Remember our nekkid lady on the Accord? And on the Sentra? No? That’s because those jerks stole it. STUPID KIDS!)

Oh – speaking of stupid kids, most of you know how much I don’t like teenagers (I don’t want to say “hate” in print – but it’s true), except, of course, for my own relatives. Those kids are a-okay. But, I’m not their parents so I’m probably biased. Anyhoo, my favorite part of the site is the section on Candy Traps. Costumes and/or contraptions specifically designed to scare away teenagers that come to get candy when they probably should have stopped trick-or-treating 5 years earlier.

Pet peeve #5 – stupid teenagers that are too old to trick or treat AND who don’t dress up for Halloween!

One design that caught my eye was the Clown In A Van Handing Out Candy. It’s as if someone crawled into Steakman’s head and then drew a diagram of what they saw! Creepy! Another great design was the Funhouse Jets of Air, which reminds me of the smoke machine and Teena & Joel’s Halloween party. It made a scary wooshing noise and scared approaching children. I did it by accident, but SOME people did it on purpose (Charles – I’m looking at you).  I can’t say enough about the site. I love Halloween and this site is one of the reasons I know I’m not alone.

Plus, the owner has a really smart business (a couple, actually) that sells personal products that are embarrassing to buy in the store. Stuff like incontinence products, enemas, rogaine, and so on. Sweet! I think it’s a great idea — total privacy.

Finally – something that made me laugh for quite a while – here it is – word for word:

Here is my script idea for Martha’s show. Even if I am not on the show, I hope they will use it.

     Martha invites a celebrity guest on her show to carve a pumpkin. Someone fun and innocent like Katie Couric. Martha’s guest would be invited to carve a little pumpkin. Martha will carve a small pumpkin as well. “could you carve a sad face and I’ll carve a happy face?” Martha will say. “Of course” Katie will say because she is so nice and agreeable.

     When they are both done carving their little pumpkins, Martha could say “I carved a bigger pumpkin too. Do you want to see it?”. Then BOOM! Martha trucks in this giant pumpkin and puts Katie’s pumpkin in its mouth.

    “Now doesn’t that look nice?” Martha could say in her soothing voice.

Ok – enough gushing… Today on Gothtober, there’s a hauntingly gorgeous look at plant poisons. Not poisons that kill plants, but plants that poison people! Uh, if you like that sort of thing I mean. I told you that Steakman went to Durham on a business trip, right? Yeah. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. :rolleyes:

TV alert: Scary Supernatural episode tonight. Plus, ABC Family just announced the lineup for the 13 Nights Of Halloween!  WOO HOO!

And Ghost Hunters!

All day today, Ghost Hunters episodes are running in a marathon of spooky goodness. At 9 PM (EST), the first episode of the new season is on! Woo hoo! My friend Shelly took the whole day off to watch. I am working at home, but had to take a sick day instead because of a stupid migraine. This one lasted waaayyyy too long. Anyway, I didn’t get to enjoy too many episodes because my head hurt enough to make me nauseous. Yuck. I’m sure I’ll be well enough to work tomorrow. Figures, right?

Don’t forget to visit Gothtober today for a more fun information about carnivorous plants! And if you missed yesterday’s feature, go check it out! It’s time to make your own Halloween mask! WOOOO!

If you’re looking for something a little different to wear on Halloween, go here for some printout Star Wars masks! Or, take a picture of someone you know, and then go here to find out how to make a mask of them to wear around. It’s like having a friend’s head on a stick! Fancy! Finally, for the business jerks out there, Forbes has a few fun masks to print out including Martha Stewart and Kenneth Lay. Wear them to work to inspire instant fear!

 

Unfortunately, I don’t have either prepared because I’m too tired. Go see Gothtober.

 

I said go see it!

…you don’t know Jack about Halloween!

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, is synonymous with Halloween. Or at least she has been since around 1981. We used to have a life-size cardboard cutout of Elvira (we might still have it) but I’m not sure where it is. She made an appearance right around Halloween each year.

Basically, Elvira hosted scary movies for a television station and her career took off almost immediately. She was actually was the first U.S. personality to be broadcast in 3-D! Who knew?

Elvira’s website has “Halloween” written all over it. Need hot Halloween hair tips? Want to dress for excess? Check out the Fun House section. For starters, take Elvira for a spin.

Don’t forget to visit Gothtober for a horrifying look at a monster in New Orleans!

It’s time to learn to dress like a Gothic Lolita! Now despite what it sounds like, the outfit is neither gothic, nor related to Lolita. But it’s so unexpected it’s worth checking out for the scary factor alone.

Today, on Gothtober, there’s a tale of love, lust, murder, intrigue, and a carnivorous plant, much like this one. Be sure to check it out.

I love venus flytraps and had some as a kid (of course they died really quickly because we kept feeding it – we fed it baloney and I don’t think that helped). But, as much as I love them, I could not help but hate the movie “Little Shop of Horrors” with Rick Moranis. I didn’t find it the least bit funny. I know some people loved it, but I’m sure not one of them. However, it probably would make a good Halloween movie if you like that sort of thing.

A MUCH better movie for Halloween is “House on Haunted Hill” – the 1958 version, not that horrid 1999 remake that BLOWS.

 

So, Halloween is coming…

…and everyone knows that bats swarm at people this time of year and try to bite them or get tangled up in their hair. And, of course, the closer it is to a full moon, the more hungry and vicious the bats get. So, to keep us all from becoming vampires, the NYS Dept of Health is distributing some helpful bat alert stickers and magnets. Steakman and Chaz picked them up for me at the State Fair when they went to see Flaming Lips/Sonic Youth/Ween.

Now, to keep these crazy bats from attacking you, you have to do a few things. First, you should wear garlic, but since it’s pretty smelly, you could chose to go for something more nose-friendly, like ginger. It might not work, but at least you won’t be stinky. Second, you should wear a hat at all times. If you’re vain keep in mind that while everyone loves your long flowing hair, unless you want a bat to make a nest in it, you’ll need to keep it under wraps. I’m particularly fond of those bucket hats, myself. They make everyone look like fishermen. And who doesn’t like to fish?

So anyway, you’re probably asking why the Dept of Health doesn’t say anything about bats getting tangled in your hair or turning you into vampires, right? Well, they don’t want to scare you. Plain and simple. But – if you read between the lines, you can see the truth — “bats play a role in nature” — “do not release it.” It’s all there in black & white.

But, in case you can’t help yourself and you have to touch a bat, you should watch to Dr. Xena show what happens when bats turn on you (click on Clip 5). And, if you happen to be at a campsite around Halloween where bats or serial killers are ABSOLUTELY sure to attack* you’ll definitely want to have a bat capture kit handy so when the authorities find your bodies, they’ll have a bat sample to test for rabies.

Don’t forget to visit Gothtober for a ribald tale –definitely not for children or the prudish.

* See IMDB for Camp Blood, Camp Fear, Camp Slaughter, Camp Daze, Camp Utopia, Sleepaway Camp, Blairwitch Project, Mother’s Day, Friday the 13th, Cheerleader Camp, Summer Camp Nightmare, Camp Death, Dark Woods, and so on and so on…

Because I have a headache.

Today’s Halloween Goodies feature fun for the child in all of us. (Warning: Not suitable for actual children.) So go see Gothtober already — you’ll find a great adaptation of the old fairy tale Hansel & Gretel.

Also, check out the latest Fashion Doll – SCARBIE! AAAHHH! There’s a lovely set at The Scarbie & Kin Collection. Click away kiddies!

So if you eat Chicken McNuggets – what are you? Hard to say, right? And scary to think about!

In the mid-80s, McDonalds ran some pretty fantabulous ad campaigns, including the horribly awful Mac & Me movie. But on the bright side, McDonalds also served up some adorable little turd-shaped puppets – The McNugget Buddies! Who, of course, were anthropomorphized versions of the tasty little “parts is parts” chicken pieces that came with delicious dipping sauces.

 

The McNugget Buddies found themselves batter-deep in all sorts of crazy adventures, including wandering around in a spooky house. They are busy trying to make dipping sauce – presumably so they can jump in it and be eaten. (!)

 

The commercial was called Scared Silly, and you can see it right here.  

And DEFINITELY check out Gothtober for today’s featured fright fest. A really catchy music “video” called Zombie Killers, with some sage advice. (“The damned are back for a beatbox revival!“)